I didn’t know where I was when I woke up. There were red lights and loud noises that were giving me a headache. People were around me checking things, but there was another presence I felt in the room that really made me wonder. I could feel Steve’s presence wherever I was, and I knew he was with me. I looked over and felt something touching my hand that almost tingled. It was Steve. He was holding my hand and rubbing one finger over mine, sobbing a little. I was in an ambulance; why was I in an ambulance? I wasn’t really aware of how I felt, but I did feel a little nauseated and there was a constant pounding in my skull. Everything was a little blurry. I thought that if I moved I would probably throw up, so I stayed still. I wanted to let Steve know I was awake, so I gave his hand a slight squeeze. He looked up at me and I looked back; sure that my eyes had some weird glazed look. Everything was fading again… becoming fainter… darker…
I saw that Ed was awake and it took all my strength not to jump up and kiss him. His eyes scared me; they were misty and tired. He looked weaker than I had ever seen him before, and Ed was one of the strongest people I knew. I watched his eyes droop as he passed out again. The ambulance stopped and we got out. They directed me to the lobby of the ER. I bit my lip; I didn’t want to leave him. I still left and I sat on the cheap plastic chairs. I’m not sure if it was two hours or ten minutes that I sat there, but I was just not down to earth. I couldn’t concentrate on anything; I was just sort of there. It was awhile before someone tapped me on the shoulder and told me I could see Ed.
"How long was he in the ER?" I asked, following.
"Oh, about an hour," they replied. I was shaking madly and I felt weak, almost as if I was the one with the concussion. When I got in the room, there was Ed lying on the hospital bed with a few IV’s hooked up to his arms and a tube going down his nose. They said was to help him breathe. I sat down with him and took his hand, hoping and praying he’d be awake tomorrow. I sat there for a long time, staring at him before it occurred to me to call the guys. I reluctantly removed my hand and I began to dial Kevin’s cell phone. It rang once before it was picked up.
"Hello?" asked Kevin.
"It’s Steve. Ed’s in the hospital. Apparently his concussion was worse than we thought. He has a grade three concussion and is out cold right now. Gather the guys, it’s that hospital we saw on the way in. Come to the Royal Alexander hospital."
"Ok, Steve. See you soon."
"Yea, bye." And I hung up. I gazed back at Ed and hoped that he would wake up soon.
"Don’t the hours go shorter as the days go by? We never get to stop and open our eyes. One minute you’re waiting for the sky to fall, and next you’re dazzled by the beauty of it all," I sang and I waited for the guys to get there.
I was walking down a hallway. I wasn’t sure why I was here, I was just walking. I heard or felt something behind me… Something that felt evil. It scared me so much that I started running. I looked back, but I couldn’t see it; I could feel it. Something else was happening as well. The more I ran, the more I felt a strange and pleasant buzz of comfort. Someone was waiting for me. I felt another chill of the evil chasing me and I wanted nothing more than to reach whatever was making me feel so good. I could feel the cold raw hatred coming off of what was chasing me… It made me run faster; I had to get away! The warmth was getting better now and the evil was getting weaker and weaker. I tripped and landed face first onto a soft green pasture. This was where the warmth and joy was coming from. I felt a gentle kiss on my neck and I turned to find Steve with me.
"Ed, you made it. I’m so happy for you," he said, smiling warmly.
"Where am I?" I asked, hoping to the dear sweet lord that I hadn’t just died.
"You’re in a dream. Just relax, you’ll wake up soon," came Steve’s reply.
"What was that thing?"
"Oh… I don’t know. I think it’s your concussion. It can’t get you here, I’m sure of it." And he grinned. He leaned into me and kissed me softly.
"I always feel safe with you here, Steve. I just wish it wasn’t a dream." He nodded and kissed me again… This was going to turn out to be a nice dream. He pulled back, looked at me, and smiled.
"What’s wrong?" I asked.
"Oh… Well, you’re going to wake up in a few minutes. See you! Wish you didn’t have to go..." And the landscape disappeared to darkness. I opened my eyes and saw the hospital room.
I waited for Kevin to get there with the others. In the mean time, I could either hang out in the lobby or stay in the room with Ed. I didn’t mind hanging out with Ed, it’s just that it was… distracting to sit in the same room with him. All the thoughts that were going through my mind… I couldn’t concentrate. I waited in the room anyway. I paced a little bit and sung a little too. I was mostly stewing about what I would say to Ed when he woke up; what I would do. Sometimes, I thought he woke up for a few seconds, but I wasn’t sure. I heard a groan behind me and whipped around.
"Ed?" I asked and I saw him with a wincing expression on his face as he tried to move his arm.
"Where am I now? Steve, where are you?" he asked, not opening his eyes.
"I’m right here, just a second," I replied. I took his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
"Steve, where am I?" he asked again.
"You’re here in the hospital. You have a third degree concussion. I found you on that bench and your ears were bleeding. It was the scariest thing I ever saw."
"If I had a third degree, how could I walk?"
"Much difficulty I guess. And… Ed I wanted to tell you… Well, the reason that I never told you about Natalie was because I didn’t want to hurt you. I'm so sorry. Will you forgive me?" I asked pleadingly. Ed didn't talk for a long time. I thought he had passed out again until he squeezed my hand and began to speak.
"I forgive you, Steve. I would have done the same. Would you have forgiven me?"
"Yes, yes I would have. Ed… Ed I-" and I was cut off as Kevin, Tyler, Jim, and Fin burst into the room.
"Ed, are you ok?"
"ED! Buddy, I hope you’re all right!" and there were similar shouts of joy.
"Quiet…" said Ed weakly, moving a hand to his head.
"Shh… Ed has a bad headache," I scolded. I let go of his hand before anyone noticed. Kevin’s watchful eye hadn’t missed anything, however, and he beckoned me into the hallway.
"What?" I asked quietly.
"Did you tell him?" he asked with a half smile.
"No, I was about to, but then you elephants arrived on the scene." Kev let out a small laugh and walked back into the room. I followed and saw Ed smiling, but he had a pained look on his face.
"Something up?" I asked, taking my place again by the bed.
"Tell you later." And he started a conversation with Tyler about hockey. I hoped he was okay. It was awhile before everyone filed out and left. I was almost glad.
Kevin called me out into the hall again. "Tell him tonight. It’ll probably help him out a bit. See you." And Kevin followed the rest of the band. I turned and walked back in the room.
"Ed? You wanted to…" and I discovered he was asleep. I smiled and figured he’d tell me soon enough. I grabbed the cot and opened it, laying it down. I paused and looked at Ed. He looked peaceful for once in a little while. I thought he looked adorable. I laid down and closed my eyes for sleep. I drifted off into a deep sleep and never had a single dream. Then, I felt something constantly brushing my face. I tried to get rid of it, but it kept brushing me. Then, it began to tickle the back of my neck. I grinned and tried to get rid of it, but it was persistent. I started to giggle insanely before I opened one eye to capture the culprit. Ed was sort of wincing, but he was giggling and tickling me.
"I’m awake already!" I giggled, and I stared up at him.
"Well, Steve, I wanted to talk. First, I want to know what you were going to say before the others showed up. Could you tell me?" he asked. I got up and sat in the chair. He laid back down and I took a deep breath.
"Ed, do you promise not to get mad at me?" I asked slowly.
"I swear Steve. I swear to God," he replied smiling.
"Ed, I… I... Ed, I love you," I said, staring him in his icy blue eyes, waiting to see his reply.
"Steve…," he smiled, "Steve, I feel the same. I love you too. I’m not sure how long, but… I realized it this afternoon." I smiled back and felt as if a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I leaned in, gently kissed him, and laid back into my cot.
"Good night, Steve."
"Good night, Ed." And I drifted into a calm sleep.
I woke up with this lady and a really bright light above me. Everything else was blurry. Then, I pulled a Tyler.
"AHH! Muthafucka, I’m dead!" I cried and Steve laughed. "What? No! Steve’s dead too!"
"I’m not dead, numb nuts. She’s checking up on you." And the lady left, turning out the light.
"That scared the shit out of me… really, it did." And I put a hand over my heart for effect.
"I was wondering what smelled," Steve joked.
"I’d punch you in the arm, if I could," I said, grinning. It was late. I should have been asleep, but I couldn’t. The drugs the lady had pumped me up with made me wide-awake. I blinked a couple of times to get rid of these purple spots in front of my eyes. Steve was next to me. We were in a closed off area and my headache was gone. If anything, I wanted to make love to Steve right there, but I couldn’t. I was a little angry, but I ignored it and stared at the ceiling. I decided to make conversation instead.
"So, do you want to talk about anything?" I wondered. Boy, I’m just great at selecting topics.
"Sure. Like what?" he replied, looking up at me with this smile that sent a little flutter in my stomach.
"Uhh… I dunno..." I was getting rather hard now.
"Someone’s tenting…" he chuckled.
"Shh… Can you say it any louder?" I asked, scowling.
"No, please no."
"Hehehe, why not?"
"'Cause I asked you not to."
"God, I want to fuck you." And if I weren’t already hard, it would be an instant one. I looked at him, shocked.
"Now, I never expected you to say that," I said, starting to grin once again… Boy, you just couldn’t keep a smile off of my face.
"I’m shocked at myself, actually," he replied, and I noticed him lay on his side quickly. I knew what was up. I grinned at him and I wanted him close more than ever. I was breathing hard. The thoughts that were running through my head were too dirty to tell. I felt myself craving his touch. My smile left my face as I beheld Steve. He was so… I couldn’t explain it, but I wished that on this night I wasn’t injured. I was breathing hard, and I looked at the roof of my hospital room.
"Ed? Ed, what’s wrong? Are you okay?" he asked, sitting up.
"I can’t explain what I’m feeling right now. I really can’t," I replied.
"What do you mean? Do you need a nurse?" he asked, starting to get up. I shook my head and grabbed his wrist, pulling him close.
"No, I don’t." I put his hand over my heart. "There's something wrong right there. Kiss me and cure it." Steve smiled bashfully and leaned in, kissing me softly. I smiled and he didn’t talk for a minute.
"I feel the same way. When we get back tomorrow, or whatever… Oh, you’re going to like it," he mumbled dreamily and he yawned. I yawned back and snuggled down. Sleep was coming…
I woke up the next morning and my head actually didn’t hurt. I wasn’t sure if it was the drugs doing that, though. The tube in my nose was starting to bother me, so I asked the lady when she came back to remove it.
"Why would you want it removed?" she asked, shooting up her eyebrows.
"It feels funny and I think I can breath on my own, thank you very much." I snapped.
"I’ll ask the doctor," she said dryly, as if she had no intention of doing so.
"You better or I’ll get up in my birthday suit and ask him myself. If you don’t believe me, you have another thing coming."
"You had better believe him, lady. You should have seen what he did to one of the ‘Proclaimers’ with a towel and nothing more," said Steve, grinning at the memory. I chuckled. The lady got a scared look on at the possibilities and practically ran for the doctor to ask him. I smiled and sneezed.
"OW!" I yelled. Sneezing with a tube in your nose hurts. She walked back in about a half an hour later.
"The doctor says it will be safe to take it out since you seem to be recovering," she said with a dull drawl in her voice. I was going to have a little fun, but I decided not to, for once. I took Steve’s hand in mine first to test my theory. She wrinkled her brow and got a bit of a disgusted look on her face. Yeah, she was homophobic. I whispered this to Steve and Steve kissed me on the cheek to make sure. She took a deep breath and separated us. I was laughing really hard, so it was awhile before she could remove the tube. While she was removing it, I was sort of speaking in French to scare her and trying to ignore the unpleasant sensation of her pulling a tube out my nose.
"Ce que j'ai fais, ce soir la." And she gave me a strange look. Steve began to say it too and acted as if he were agreeing with me.
"Ce qu'elle a dit, ce soir la." She looked at Steve and bit her lip as she began to walk away to wash and put the tube away in the sink that was in my room.
"Realisant mon espoir," I almost chuckled. I knew what I was saying, I just wish I knew what the lady thought I was saying.
"Je me lance, vers la gloire ... Okay," Steve almost replied calmly, keeping an eye on the nurse.
"We are vain and we are blind. I hate people when they’re not polite." I said, now grinning. She looked back at us and I was sure she thought we were discussing killing her. If you thought about it, we might be.
"Psycho Killer…" Steve said, snorting back his laughter.
"Quest ce que cest?"
The lady quickly scooted out of the room, muttering under her breath.
"Nice one, Ed."
"You too, Steve." I leaned back free of the offending tube and I waited to see how long it would be until I left. I sort of began to doze off and heard the others come. I acted as if I was asleep. When Jim, Tyler, and Fin left Kevin stayed a minute to talk to Steve.
"You told him yet?" asked Kevin.
"Yeah, I did. It wasn’t as hard as I thought. I really think I do love him. And thanks for staying quiet, Kevin. I appreciate all you did for me in the hotel room." That was when I spoke up.
"Explain; I really don’t want another situation like the Tyler one. And running away in this hospital gown would look silly, don’t you think?" I asked, smiling.
"Kevin found out about us and said the ‘S’ word even… Now, you really should have been there. Anyway, he’s the one who told me to go and look for you. If it hadn’t been for him, you’d still be on that park bench," said Steve.
"Which S word?" I asked.
"Don’t you dare tell him, Steve," Kevin hissed.
"Kevvers said S-E-X!" Steve almost shouted.
I opened one eye and looked at Kevin. He was fire engine red. It was really and truly fascinating to see. I snorted with laughter and Steve moved his chair. I demanded a kiss when he was closer. He leaned over and kissed me, gently placing his tongue in my mouth. I remembered the dream; the really nice one. Heaven exists.
"NOT IN FRONT OF ME!" Kevin said like a little boy.
"We’d do more in front of you, but this is a hospital," Steve joked.
"Are you serious?" he asked grinning.
"No, all we’ve done is mutual masturbation," I chuckled.
"Oh, in the car, you mean?" Kevin said, remembering the song.
"Does in a bus count? Or in a hotel room?"
"I can’t believe you’re telling me this."
"Oh, Kevvy we just want you to join in!" Steve said, putting on his wonderfully crafted lisp.
Kevin snorted and got up walking to the door. "See you later!" said Kevin, swinging into the hallway and going out of sight. I had an idea, but I decided it would be wrong. No way in hell would we get Kevin in a threesome. Steve seemed to read my mind.
"He’d never do it."
"I know." I turned over to sleep for real. I wondered when I’d get out of here. I wondered about Steve; I hadn’t asked him about Carolyn yet, but hey, I’d ask later. A dream tugged at my thoughts and I was whisked away to sleep.
I woke up again. This time, there was no Ed screaming about being dead, which was good. Ed was going to get out today, which was even better. But when I heard the fact that…
"Hello, everyone!" said Fin, walking into the hospital room.
"Hey Fin. Hey guys," Ed and I replied simultaneously.
"Well, Tyler, Jim and me are going to this water park and Kevin is staying to make sure you’re okay and to do some work on a song. We’d love to stay, but… I’m sorry guys."
"It’s okay, go enjoy yourselves," I said, thinking of how Ed and me were going to spend our time together. I let a shy/sly smile creep across my face. The others left and we said our good byes.
"I know what you’re thinking, Steve. Get those thoughts out of your head!" Kevin giggled.
"You really think me and Ed only have sex on the brain?" I asked, looking over to him.
"Well… We don’t, actually. We think of shows, martial problems, each other, and… Okay, sex is still up there, but hey, who cares?"
"I heard that men think with only one side of their brain at a time," said Ed, thoughtfully.
"Must’ve been a woman who wrote that," Kevin replied. (AN: Actually, I told some boys that and that was their initial reaction.)
"I wanna go to the hotel now," Ed said, crossing his arms in a fake pout.
"Me too. I need a shower," I agreed, getting a rather interesting look from Kevin.
"I know what you two really want to do…" Kevin said with the most bizarre look on his face, as if he was planning something. What is little Kevvy up to? Then, a tired nurse walked in to announce something.
"Ed’s going home today. I’ll get the doctor to remove his IV’s later and you can leave. His clothes are in there," she said to me, pointing to a cupboard. I nodded and went to get them. We made small talk for a little while and eventually the doctor came in to remove his IV’s.
"He shouldn’t get overworked too soon. Keep him lying down and try to keep him from doing any active activities, please…" the doctor said, absentmindedly. Kevin and I found this hilarious. We began to giggle insanely and he shook his head. I did my best to ignore Ed’s:
"OW! THAT FUCKING HURTS!" while he got his IV’s taken out. He got dressed and we were on our way to the hotel room. It was a little while and Kevin had this strange look still on his face. He was obviously planning very deeply.
"Kevin, what’s with you?" Ed asked, noticing as well.
"Oh… nothing, just thinking," Kevin smiled. I rolled my eyes. Kevin was separating Ed and me in the back seat of the taxi. I was slightly miffed, but I ignored it. I kept my mind focused on my task; planning about Ed and me… mwa ha ha. I was gonna have fun and I couldn’t wait.
"So, what are you thinking about?" I asked, nudging him.
"I’m… I dunno, don’t ask me," Kevin replied a little quickly. I shot one eyebrow into the air and Ed whispered only loud enough for the three of us to hear.
"He doesn’t know how sex works so he wouldn’t know what he’s thinking."
I began to giggle so much I bit my hand.
"I do so know how… sex… works!" Kevin snapped. I giggled more.
"Okay, so how do you do it?" I asked, biting my hand again.
"Oh… Well, uh… First, you… Well uhh… That is to say…" he stammered and Ed and me burst out laughing, digging our fingers into the upholstery.
"Kevin, just admit you don’t know how. We all know you’re an eternal virgin!"
"I am sooo not a virgin!" he hissed. I nudged him hard to make him be quiet. Ed seemed to think the same thing.
"What girl did you do it to?" I asked, preparing for Kevin to stumble again.
"This really hot girl after a concert," he whispered. I actually believed it.
"Okay, I believe you. I just wish I saw. It would've been interesting," I snorted.
"Oh yeah. Just so you can jack off to free porn," he snickered.
"No, 'cause you wouldn’t know where to stick it!" I retorted and I elbowed him hard again.
"Why do you keep doing that?"
"Shut up, there is a driver in here, you know." Kevin giggled. He leaned over and whispered in Ed’s ear. Ed got a rather interesting grin on and I wanted to know what was up.
"What?" I asked, leaning in.
"You’ll find out," was all Ed replied with, not to mention adding his priceless grin. I shot one eyebrow up, but I sighed and waited for the hotel to pull into view. It was a little bit of a wait, but eventually we got there and I was rather happy. A hot shower for me! We played tag as we ran up to the elevator. We ran down the hall to our room and Kevin to his.
"Ed, I’m gonna take a shower and you rest. The activities are for a little later…" and I disappeared behind the door mysteriously. Turning on the hot water to full, undressing, and taking off my glasses, I stepped inside and leaned against the wall, letting the hot water beat down on my shoulders and neck. It was sooo relaxing. I sighed and decided I was going to take a half-an-hour shower and pamper myself. When I was done, I turned off the shower and slowly toweled off. I heard voices in the next room, then and I heard them go silent. I ignored it and decided Kevin wouldn’t mind it if I were in a towel; we record naked together anyway. Stepping out into the hotel room, I saw Ed on his bed and the TV was on. That explained the voices. I walked over to Ed and kissed his neck, nibbling on the skin just below his ear.
"Steve…" he moaned. I traced my tongue up to his ear and shoved it in. With one hand, I began to undo the buttons of his shirt. I kissed every patch of flesh that became visible. When I was done unbuttoning his shirt, he slid it off and I got to work on his pants. When I got those down, I saw a huge tent in his boxers. I kissed his dick through the fabric before I pulled them down and added them to the clothes pile. I slipped off my towel and leaned in, kissing him full on the lips. I ran my tongue over his lips and he parted them, letting my tongue pass. I placed my tongue in his cheek to find the best place for him, between the cheek and at the back of his mouth. I teased it for awhile and he wrapped his arms around me at the base of my back. I returned the gesture and felt his tongue slide into my mouth, stroking mine and the roof of my mouth. I pulled away for a breather and he reached down, gripping my cock and running a finger over the head.
"Ohh… Ed…" I moaned, trying to get closer. I returned the favor by reaching down and gripping his member, using some precum to jerk him slowly. I wanted to make this last forever, so I made sure to be gentle and slow.
"Steven…" he whispered in my ear, running his fingers through my hair. His hands rubbed my back and one reached down and squeezed my ass. I kissed him, thrusting my tongue into his mouth and still stroking him. During our tongues battle of wills, he rolled over so that he was on top. One of his hands held him up while the other rubbed my chest. His wandering hand found my nipple and began to roll the nub between his fingers. He pulled away and substituted his mouth for his hands. His warm tongue, lashing across my chest, pulled me that much closer to my climax. He traced his kisses downwards and shoved his tongue in my navel. He continued to kiss downwards, stopping just above my swollen cock and nibbling the skin. He didn’t suck me off like I thought he was going to. Instead, he moved to my inner-thigh, still nibbling and kissing.
"Oh God, Ed… please…" I moaned, still floating in my sea of bliss. Ed kissed his way up my shaft and to the head. He delicately licked off a drop of precum before taking me into his mouth; sucking me slow.
"Oh my dear lord; there is a heaven," I groaned, digging my fingers into the sheets. I felt his calloused fingers cup my sack, toying with them. Everything was pushing me closer and closer to the edge. He began to suck me harder and faster.
"OH! Don’t stop! So close!" I cried. Then, I came harder than I ever did in my life. I buckled up against him, crying out his name loudly. I lay there, breathing hard and feeling shaky; worn out from the hummer. He tilted his head back, swallowing my hot cum. He looked like he really needed to be cheered up, so I sat up and laid my hands on his shoulders. In one swift motion, I pinned him to the bed. His eyes were drooped and a thin film of sweat covered his desirable body. I knew how he felt; he needed to come soon.
"Please… Please, Steven," he moaned. He was in a tight position, so I calmly kissed the head of his cock and poked the very tip with my tongue. I was careful. As much as I wanted to feel him throbbing in my mouth, I also wanted to let him cum slowly. I took nothing more than the head in my mouth and sucked lightly. Then, I took a little more of him in, making sure to keep him hard long. I caressed his inner thigh slowly, loving the feel of his skin under my fingertips. He moaned when I took more of him in my mouth.
"Steve… I love everything about you… yeah, just like that!" he screamed through clenched teeth. I was really enjoying sucking him off and hearing his responses. He let out a slow, deep sigh as he came in a slow gentle orgasm; just as I had planed. Intense was for later.
"Oh, Jesus, you have no idea how much I needed that!" he exclaimed.
"I do know. So what were you and Kevin whispering about?" I asked, lying down beside him and rubbing his chest.
"That’s for later. And don’t think we’re through yet! I still haven’t fucked you. Do you realize how bad I want you Steven?" he whispered. I shook my head no.
"Then let me fuck you and show you." He got up on his knees. "Do you feel like having a shower?"
"Oh sure, another sounds perfect when it’s with you, love!" I exclaimed, getting up. We walked hand in hand to the bathroom and turned the water on nice and hot. When the water was ready, we stepped in and I realized how eager I was. I needed to cum again. We washed each other’s hair and bodies before I pulled him into a deep kiss. We wrapped our arms around each other and he asked permission to enter my mouth. I parted my lips as the two of us tried to make each other as hot and horny as possible. Then, I couldn’t stand it any longer. I pulled away and whispered something so softly I could barely hear myself.
"I want you to fuck me."
"What?" asked Ed, giving me a lopsided grin.
"I want you to fuck me," I whispered again.
"Sorry, love, you’ll have to speak up! I really can’t hear you."
"I want your big hard cock to fuck me!" I growled.
"I wish you said so in the first place!" he replied, turning me around. I felt him position himself outside of my ass and he began. At first. he went slowly, giving me time to adjust. Soon, we found rhythm and I began to jerk myself while he fucked me.
"Oh god! Oh god, don’t stop!" I cried.
"I couldn’t if I wanted to!" he replied, also nearing his peak. Then he angled a thrust that hit ‘the’ spot.
"Do that again!" And he began to angle each thrust to hit me in the right place. Soon, I peaked and we both came at the same time; our cries yelling out each other’s name. We sat on the ground of the shower, not trusting ourselves to stand. The hot water beat down on our backs as we sat together.
"I love you, Ed," I whispered as I turned off the water.
"I love you too, Steve," he replied and he stepped out. We toweled each
other off. We went to my bed and watched the TV until we fell asleep.