Deep Focus
by joeanne

Part 4:  Some Cookies, Some Cakes, or Maybe Some Shakes

It had been a couple months since I had taped Steve and Ed's first time.  With a little bit of work, I managed to tape a few more of their encounters as well.  I felt guilty about doing it, but it was the closest I could ever get to Steve.

Once when we were taking a break from touring, I invited my friend Darcy from Come As You Are over to watch one of the tapes.  I knew that she was lonely and well, so was I.  Neither of us had seen each other in a while and I felt guilty for not talking to her more.  We seemed to have this really great connection.  We love each other in a way, but we're not in love with each other by any means.

I showed her the tape and we ended up fooling around a little.  I think we both really needed it.  I wanted to share a part of how I felt for Steve with her.  I wanted someone else to understand.  At the same time, I needed her to know that she wasn't totally alone.  That she would always have someone to talk to, or someone to fool around with a little.

After that night we kept in much better contact, much to my relief.  Tyler even started teasing me about my "girlfriend."  I think he was a little disappointed when I told him Darcy was a lesbian.  But then he perked up again and started teasing me about lesbian threesomes.  Tyler has no idea how funny and irritating he is at the same time.

For the past week or so Steve and Ed have been fighting.  I can tell because Steve keeps rooming with me instead of Ed.  The look on Ed's face every time Steve walks into my room is priceless.  His eyebrows narrow ever so slightly and I can feel him trying to bore a hole in the back of my head.  It's so great!  Don't get me wrong, I love Ed like a brother, but he's also my competition for Steve.  Not that either of them know that or anything.

What's really interesting is that about two nights ago, Steve had a really hot and heavy dream.  I'm not sure what it was about, but it really spooked him.  Since then he's been going out of his way to be nice to me, making sure I can carry everything, opening doors, even giving me the occasional backrub.  I almost wonder if he dreamed about me dying or something.  Whatever the dream was about I wish he would have more of them, I absolutely love the attention!  It's also totally pissing Ed off.

Steve and I have also been talking a lot more about things in general.  He still hasn't "told me" about his relationship with Ed, but it's probably only a matter of time.  The frightening thing is that I've stopped thinking about just sex when I'm around him.  I've started thinking about more . . . domestic stuff.  You know, a house and a garden, maybe a treefort in the front yard.  I'm not entirely sure what it means, but it's kind of scary.

I was sitting in our room when Steve opened the door.  He had a gigantic grin on his face.  I could feel my cock twitch a little but I managed (with great difficulty) to will it down.  "I got a surprise for you," he said.  I couldn't help but grin back.

"What?" I asked.

He pulled out a carton of ice cream from behind his back.  I widened my eyes in surprise.  "I got chocolate syrup and stuff already stashed in the fridge," Steve explained as he set the carton on the table.  Ice cream, chocolate syrup and Steve Page.  The sexual fantasies that conjured up totally overwhelmed me.  Steve looked at me in concern.  "Are you okay, Kev?"

I found the strength to nod and was grateful when Steve turned away to put the ice cream in some bowls.  I looked down and underneath my sketchpad was a highly visible hardon.  I bit my lower lip in frustration.  If luck was with me, I could dash over to the table without Steve noticing.

I managed to sneak over to a chair before Steve could look up and see my tenting.  Tenting. . . oh dear gord, I'm torturing myself.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Steve set a bowl of vanilla ice cream in front of me and he sat down in a chair opposite me.  He looked at me expectantly.  "Yes?" I asked.

Steve frowned, then said, "Damn, I forgot the toppings.  I'll be right back."  He got up and started grabbing things from the refrigerator.  I took the opportunity to stare lovingly at his ass.  He stood up all too soon, bringing with him such delights as chocolate syrup, whipped cream, sprinkles (the little chocolate kind), and cherries.  Did he have any idea what kind of message that sends to a guy?  I started to resent the bowl of ice cream in front of me.  I'd much rather use the toppings to decorate interesting places on Steve's anatomy and slowly lick it off.  I wonder if chocolate syrup would make a good lubricant?

Steve sat down and started to pile the toppings onto his sundae.  Trying to ignore the throbbing in my groin, I followed suit.  As Steve put the first bite of ice cream into his luscious mouth I lost concentration and some of the chocolate syrup I was pouring ended up on my fingers.  He swallowed and grabbed my thin wrist.  Steve then did the most erotic thing I've seen in my entire life, he stuck my chocolately finger into his mouth.

My brain shut down as his tongue gracefully wrapped itself out my finger, stroking and caressing my sensitive digit.  I closed my eyes as his teeth nibbled along the tip, arousing the tiny nerves.  I moved my chair over next to him as Steve worshipped my finger.  His eyes locked with mine as he pulled the now clean digit out of his mouth, sucking lightly the entire time.  We stared at each other for a few moments, unsure of where to take this.  He glanced down and noticed that my ring finger had also been doused in chocolate.  Steve lifted it to his lips and lightly kissed it.  He then slipped it into his mouth and sucked for all he was worth.

My mind was reeling.  If he could do this to a finger, imagine. . . my cock twitched with desire.  I grabbed one of his hands and placed it on my growing need.  Steve's eyes widened and the finger slipped out of his mouth.  I took the opportunity to wrench my hand away and wrapped it around his head.  Our mouths locked together and my tongue forcefully demanded entrance from those luscious lips.

After a little teasing by nibbling his lower lip, Steve gave me permission.  My tongue ran along his in a sensual dance that sent jolts of arousal down my body.  I moaned when I tasted the chocolate that lingered there.  I plunged my fingers into Steve's hair, using the leverage to keep Steve's lips near mine.  Our mouths would part for only scant seconds to let us breath before Steve would lunge forward to continue our tongues' battle of wills.

His hand was rubbing roughly against my crotch, driving me crazy with lust.  I ran one of my hands down his back to the ass that I wanted so much.  I gently pushed him off of his chair and helped him to arrange himself on my lap.  Although I'm not a weakling, Steve is bigger than I am so we had to adjust ourselves a little so he wouldn't crush me.  Realizing that his hand was trapped, Steve jerked it out of the space between our bodies.  That little movement was enough to make our groins touch for the first time.  He was just as hard as I was.  My body shuddered at the touch.

Steve lightly bit my shoulder in shock.  It didn't hurt at all, it was more of a "Did you feel that too?" bite.  I just moaned in response.  His hands ran up and down my back as his mouth found mine again.  I couldn't believe how quickly I was getting lost in Steve's presence.  My hands stroked his ass, clenching and soothing all in the same motion.

I decided to do something daring.  I slipped one of my fingers into the slight crease of Steve's ass, around where his anus would be if he hadn't had pants on.  Steve stiffened above me.  Something told me that I had just done something really stupid.  He pulled his lips away from mine and stared into my eyes.  I saw the lust and maybe a hint of something else fade into guilt and self loathing.

"I'm so sorry, Kevin.  I don't know what got into me," Steve said.

Oh, shit.  Shit, shit, shit, shit!  I tried to play it cool.  "What do you mean?"

"I . . . I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that," Steve said.

I wanted to scream, "What do you mean taking advantage?  Does *this* feel like taking advantage of me?"  Instead, I stayed silent.  Steve slowly eased himself off of me and I reluctantly let him leave my arms.  I felt hollow and empty.  I should have felt used, but I didn't.  I did feel cheated though.  "Why?" I asked.

Steve sat down on the bed and stared at his hands.  "Well . . . Ed and I. . . " Oh, God.  Here it comes.  "We're sort of together."  He looked up at me.  I tried my best to look surprised and Steve seemed to buy it.  "We've been having some problems and so I decided to room with you.  What I didn't realize is that I might have some feelings for you too."  This was definitely news to me.  Steve continued.  "I had a dream the other night.  Ed and I were . . . having sex and when I was giving him head, Ed turned into you."  My heart leapt in my chest.

Steve looked up at me.  "I honestly did not buy the ice cream to seduce you.  I acted on impulse when I saw your finger and things just went out of control.  I want to be your friend, Kevin.  God, we nearly lost you before and I don't want something like this to drive us apart."  He was concerned about what I thought of him?  I would have given anything to kiss him again at that moment, but some shred of something held me back.

"I'm just really confused with how I feel right now.  I love Ed but I want to kill him too," Steve said.

"Are you in love with him?" I asked.

Steve looked surprised.  "I honestly have no idea," he replied.

"Have you made love?" I asked.  I knew that they had been screwing each others' brains out for weeks now but I wanted to hear what Steve had to say about it.

Steve didn't answer for a long time.  "We've had sex," he answered bluntly.

"Maybe you should try making love to Ed and see what happens."  I can't believe I just said that.

"Really?" Steve asked.

No, damn it, no.  "Yes."  Damn me trying to be a good friend.

"I think I will.  Thanks, Kevin," Steve said.  He got up to walk out of the door.  No, there was no way I was going to let him off that easily.

I caught up to him and grabbed his wrist.  "Just remember if. . . if. . . if it doesn't work out--"  Why am I stuttering like a nervous high schooler?  "I'm here."  I lifted his hand to my lips and gave it a gentle kiss.  The smile on Steve's face totally melted me.

"I will," he said.  He gently wrapped a hand around my neck and claimed my lips in a mind blowing kiss.  My insides turned to jello as his fingers massaged the back of my head.  "No matter how this turns out, you were never second best or second choice to me, it was just a matter of timing," Steve whispered into my ear.  He pulled away and walked out the door.

I suddenly found myself desperately in need of a long cold shower.


Darcy belongs to Carly, she's from the story "Spy in the House of Love."