And Now For Something Completely Different
by Kie

There was a knock.  Kevin opened the door and stepped aside, letting Lyndie in and grabbing one of the bags from her arms.

“Welcome home,” she said as they made their way to Kevin’s kitchen.  Once the bags were set down, they hugged.  “How was the tour?”

“Oh, the usual,” Kevin said with a shrug as he started going through the grocery bags his friend had brought with her.  “Nothing exciting.”

“Right, nothing involving chip dip or anything,” Lyndie said with a smile.  Kevin blushed and put some stuff in the fridge.

“Hey Hearn!”  Kevin looked up as she tossed a small tub of French Onion chip dip at him.

“You want me to stick my penis in this?” he asked with a laugh.

“And break your resolution? I couldn’t do that to you.  Well, I could, and I would, but I think I’ll save it for later.”

Kevin had met Lyndie years and years ago, when they were both living in the same apartment building.  His sink had literally exploded, and since Kevin hadn’t been able to get through the mess of water and plumbing parts to get to his phone and call the landlord, he went next door, meeting Lyndie.  While the maintenance crew tried to reassemble Kevin’s kitchen, Lyndie invited him to stay with her.  At first, he had declined, but she was persistent. So they spent the night watching old Jimmy Stewart movies and eating popcorn.  Kevin ended up sleeping on her couch that evening.  When his kitchen was finally put back together, Lyndie came over and helped him clean up.   He didn’t ask her to, she just did.  They became friends, keeping in touch when they each moved.  When Kevin was asked to join BNL, Lyndie was one of the first people he told.  She was excited for him, and told him that when he was done with the tour, she’d come over, they’d have a nice dinner, and he could tell her all about it.

Well, they still got together when Kevin came home from each tour.  It had become a ritual they both looked forward to.  Lyndie always brought dinner, dessert, and a movie.  This time, dinner was Chinese take-away, dessert a gallon of Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, and as entertainment, she had brought her Monty Python’s Flying Circus collection.  Kevin looked at the DVD and chuckled.

“I was expecting something more sedate from you,” he said.  “I wasn’t expecting this.”

“Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!”  Lyndie said, putting her hands on her hips and puffing her chest out before dissolving into a fit of giggles.

Kevin just shook his head and grabbed some plates.  Over dinner, Kevin talked about the tour, venting a lot of things he couldn’t or wouldn’t say to the guys.  Lyndie was one of those people who listened to everything and repeated nothing.  Handy, really, since she was a therapist.  And their dinners were a bit of therapy for Kevin.  Touring always drained him, leaving him exhausted physically and mentally.  But his dinners with Lyndie helped to counteract that. It was a transition between his two worlds.

After dinner, they cleaned up, and sat for a while, sipping wine and talking.  Eventually, dinner had settled enough that they had room for ice cream, so Kevin grabbed the tub and some spoons, Lyndie grabbed the DVD, and they went to Kevin’s bedroom, where his DVD player was.

They sat on Kevin’s bed, eating ice cream, laughing at the mad genius of the Pythons.  Kevin began to secretly glance at Lyndie, watching her as she licked a drip of ice cream from her hand, the way her tongue stuck out between her lips as she savored the ice cream.  Kevin felt himself stir as she brushed her hair from her neck.  He must have gasped, because she turned to him.

“Are you alright?” she asked.  Her eyes shimmered in the light of the TV, and Kevin lost himself in them.

He slowly leaned in and kissed her.

Lyndie was surprised but it didn’t last long as she kissed Kevin back.  He leaned against her and forced her back onto the bed, moving his body over her as he ran his tongue over her lips.  She parted them and met his tongue with her own, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, telling him with her gestures that she wanted this just as much as he did.

They were both surprised at their desire.  They were friends, nothing more.  Lyndie thought Kevin was cute, but she had never harbored any desire for him.   It was the same for Kevin.  Lyndie was a lovely woman, with a quick laugh and a sweet smile.  He wasn’t sure what it was about this particular evening that led him to kiss her, but he knew that there was no turning back now.

He brought his hand to her chest, cupping her breast and squeezing slightly.  She moaned and arched her back against him.  As his kisses moved to her neck, Lyndie felt her desire for him double, then triple as he moved his move to suck on her nipple through her shirt.  She moaned his name, needing to feel him against her skin.  He seemed to sense this, because his hands moved to the bottom of her shirt and slowly started to slide it up.  When her stomach was exposed, Kevin kissed it.  Her skin had a slightly fruity scent to it, and Kevin inhaled deeply before he started kissing up again.    When he had the shirt up high enough, Lyndie sat up and helped Kevin pull it over her head.   He leaned against her again as he kissed her, placing his hand at the base of her throat and skimming his fingers down to the fabric of her bra.  He followed his fingers with his lips, eliciting a small sigh from Lyndie each time he brushed his mouth across her skin.

Lyndie tried to keep her breathing even as Kevin ran his mouth over her chest, but she soon was panting, almost begging for more.  She didn’t speak, though.  She was afraid that if she did, Kevin would stop, realizing what was happening.

Kevin’s foot brush against the ice cream, which he had set aside when Lyndie returned his first kiss.  An idea came to him and he told Lyndie to take of her pants.   Lyndie quickly complied, taking of her panties when Kevin said to remove those as well.  She sat on the bed, naked, wondering what would happen next.

“Lay back,” Kevin said.  “And close your eyes.”  Again, Lyndie complied.  She felt Kevin’s fingers brush across her lips, and she opened her mouth slightly to grab his finger and start lightly sucking on it.  She had felt the ice cream, and now tasted it, and wondered what Kevin had in mind.

Kevin pulled his finger from Lyndie’s mouth and dipped them back into the ice cream.  He then brought his fingers to her nipples, smearing the green coldness across her peaks.  Lyndie gasped and arched her back at the sudden cold.  When Kevin’s warm mouth wrapped around one of her nipples, his tongue licking the ice cream away, she felt herself become very wet.

“Oh god Kevin,” she moaned breathlessly as he moved to the other nipple, licking a run of ice cream as it made it’s way down the side of her breast.  She moved her hands under the pillow to keep from grabbing a hold of Kevin’s ears and pulling him on to her.  Kevin kept smearing ice cream on her breasts and then licking it off, his desire for her growing with each moan, sigh or shudder that she gave.  She began nudging her hips against him, silently begging him for more.

So he obliged.

He spread a thick line of ice cream from the bottom of her rib down to her stomach, stopping at her belly button for the moment, then licking her skin clean

The completely different feelings of the cold ice cream and Kevin’s hot mouth had Lyndie gushing.  As he licked her stomach, coming very close to her nether regions but never actually going there, it was all she could do to keep from ripping Kevin’s cloths off and fucking him blind.  She was planning on doing that anyway, but she wanted to see just where Kevin was going with the ice cream.

She soon learned where he was going.  He got a large amount on his fingers and lightly brushed across her clit, sending her hips shooting off the bed.  Her entire body broke out in goose pimples, and her breathing became very rapid.  Kevin lashed his tongue out and cleaned up the ice cream, then applied more.  He worked like this for quite a while, driving Lyndie absolutely insane.  By this point she was biting Kevin’s pillow, trying to contain the scream that would issue forth in instant she opened her mouth.  She didn’t think it would be possible for Kevin to do anything to make her more aroused.  She was quite wrong.

Kevin took his ice cream covered fingers and gentle circled her opening, loving the way she bucked and squirmed.  He deftly slid into her, not going too deep, but going deep enough for her.  He slid his fingers out, replacing them with his tongue, licking her clean.

Lyndie could help but wildly thrust her hips against him as he licked inside of her, his nose caressing her clit.  It didn’t take but a moment for her to scream his name, squeezing his head between her thighs so that he couldn’t pull away until she was ready to let him go.    Kevin used slow, lazy licks to bring her down, reveling in the taste of the ice cream mixed with her juices.  He knew he’d never look at ice cream the same way.

Lyndie lay on his bed, trying to catch her breath.

~Damn!~ she thought as Kevin’s tongue continued to softly glide over her.  ~There’s only one way to repay that!~

“Take your clothes off,” Lyndie said as she stood up.  “I’ll be right back.”  Kevin watched her as she left the room, then quickly stripped.  He wondered what she was up to.

She came back just as Kevin was crawling back onto the bed, hiding something behind her back.

“Do you terribly mind breaking your resolution?” she asked in a throaty whisper as she pulled the tub of dip from behind her back.  Kevin watched, jaw agape, as she dipped her index finger into the dip, then slowly licked the white cream off.

“Uh….I…uh…”  Kevin couldn’t string a sentence together mentally, much less orally, so he just nodded.  Lyndie smiled as she sat down and wrapped her hand around his penis, gently bending it and dipping the tip into the dip.  She set the tub aside and proceeded to lick it from Kevin’s cock, returning the pleasure he had given her.  She didn’t rub the dip all over him, since she wasn’t that fond of the stuff to being with, although, she had to admit it tasted really good coming off of Kevin.

Once she had the tip licked clean, she nipped her way down his shaft, then running her tongue around the base of his cock.  Kevin closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of her moist mouth kissing his.  He jumped slightly when she smeared dip over his sac, and then licked it off.  She mad her way back up, taking him into her mouth and slowly moving up and down.

“Lyndie, stop, please,” Kevin said.  Lyndie stopped, looking up at him with a concerned look.  He didn’t have time to say anything.  He just pounced her, knocking her to her back, sliding into her in one quick motion.  It didn’t take but a few thrusts to send Kevin over the edge, as Lyndie had worked him to the point of no return, but he kept moving until Lyndie was sated as well.

They lay on his bed, sticky, sweaty, completely relaxed. Monty Python played on in the back ground.  At one point, they heard John Cleese’s distinguished voice say ‘And now for something completely different.’

Lyndie looked up at Kevin as smiled, saying “Boy ain’t that the truth?”